please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
