And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize