I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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