i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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