I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
