everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
