Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
