just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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