Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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