Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
