I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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