Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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