it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
