i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
