Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
