By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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