I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She bit a glass in half.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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