Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
