So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize