I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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