Already got asked if we're dating
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize