I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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