...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
