Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
