call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
