Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
