doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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