That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
