he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
