i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
