just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
