If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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