when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
