You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
