Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
