But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
