well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
