You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize