Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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