Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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