Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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