You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
