he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
