Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
