Sorry, I don't speak sober.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
