are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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