She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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