i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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