If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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