I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
