hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
