he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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