Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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