the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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