omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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