Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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