I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
