i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
