Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
